These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

• The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.” He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

• “He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr
• “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill
• “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow
• “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
• “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas
• “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
• “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
• “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
• “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second…. if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.
• “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop
• “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright
• “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb
• “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson
• “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating
• “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand
• “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker
• “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
• “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West
• “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go..” – Oscar Wilde
• “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
• “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder
• “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx