• Schizophrenia beats being alone.
• If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
• You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes – You will learn a lot today.
• A thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well.
• Heck is where people go who don’t believe in gosh.
• Time is just nature’s way to keep everything from happening at once.
• Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
• All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
• Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires
• I don’t have a solution; but I do admire the problem.
• I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it.
• A picture is worth a thousand words. But it uses up a thousand times the memory
• The Meek shall inherit the earth.. …after we’re through with it.
• If a thing is worth doing, It would have been done already
• Two can live as cheaply as one … for half as long.
• Ham and eggs: A day’s work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
• Lord, If I can’t be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.
• The buck doesn’t even slow down here. So keep on going.
• Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
• How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
• Sometimes too much to drink isn’t enough.
• Jesus loves you It’s everybody else that thinks you’re an ass.
• It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
• The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
• I was only looking at your name tag, honest!
• When blondes have more fun do they know it?
• Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.
• Jesus is coming! Look Busy.
• We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?
• Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!
• Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane.
• My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat
• Is reading in the bathroom considered multitasking?

Thank you Sandra