An elderly couple are having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. During desert, the old man leans over and says to his wife, “Dear, there’s something I have to ask you. It’s always bothered me that our 10th child never quite looked like the rest of our children. I must know: Did he have a different father?” The wife drops her head, unable to look at her husband. “Yes,” she admits. “He does.” Tears well up in the old man’s eyes. “Please,” he says, “Can you tell me who it was?” The woman pauses while mustering her courage. Then she says, “You.”

I wonder, if they come in different colors.
I wonder about the fragrance.
I wonder, if it would help to put those preservative packets in the water.
I wonder, if they bloom.
I wonder whether they would look better on the kitchen table or in the entry.
I wonder, if they're cheaper by the dozen.
I wonder, if they come long - stemmed.
   
The sign is real and was up for two hours before someone
stopped and told them how to spell PEONIES !!! 

Thank you Sandra.

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The Brainstormer is a fun little application designed by Andrew Bosley to generate random sketch topics by combining random words

.    During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

.    All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

.    Most dogs are immortal.

.    If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.

.    All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

.    All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

.    It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

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A man enters a barber shop for a shave.

While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

“I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.

“Just place this between your cheek and gum.”

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.

After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech, “And what if I swallow it?”

“No problem,” says the barber.

“Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.”

Thank you Greg.

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, in California an archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: ‘California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.’ 

One week later, ‘The Lakin Independent, a local newspaper in Kansas , reported the following: “After digging as deep as 300 feet in his pasture near Deerfield, Kearney County , Kansas , Bubba Mitchell, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Kansas had already gone wireless.”

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