The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition.
This year’s winners.
1. *Intaxication*: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. *Reintarnation*: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. *Bozone* (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. *Foreploy*: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. *Cashtration* (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. *Giraffiti*: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. *Sarchasm*: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
8.* Inoculatte*: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9.* Hipatitis*: Terminal coolness.
10. *Osteopornosis*: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
11. *Karmageddon*: It’s like, when everybody is sending off these bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. *Decafalon* (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. *Glibido*: All talk and no action.
14. *Dopeler effect*: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. *Arachnoleptic fit* (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. *Beelzebug *(n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17.* Caterpallor* (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18.* Ignoranus*: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
