Click image for larger view.

Click image for larger view.

I was slowly driving down a dirt road this morning, when I saw this little guy peeping out of a hole in a log alongside the road. At first he just poked his head out. And then a bit more and then he finally came all the way out.

Click image for larger view.

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the puppies,
Dallas and Smokey, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind
me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her no, I didn’t have a dog,
and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably
shouldn’t, because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it
was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load
your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was
going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone
in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if
I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her
no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s ass and a car hit us
both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he
was laughing so hard! WAL-MART won’t let me shop there anymore!!!

  You  can live in Phoenix,  Arizona  where …..
> 1.  You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found  shade.
> 2.  You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet  bowl.
> 3.  You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave  town.
> 4.  You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
> 5.  You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
> 6.  The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING  ME??!!

You  can Live in California  where…
> 1.  You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a   house.
> 2.  The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
> 3.  You know how to eat an artichoke.
> 4  You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block  party.
> 5.  When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how   long  it will take to get there rather  than how many miles away it is.
> 6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and  Drought .
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• Schizophrenia beats being alone.
• If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
• You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes – You will learn a lot today.
• A thing not worth doing isn’t worth doing well.
• Heck is where people go who don’t believe in gosh.
• Time is just nature’s way to keep everything from happening at once.
• Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
• All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
• Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires
• I don’t have a solution; but I do admire the problem.
• I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it.
• A picture is worth a thousand words. But it uses up a thousand times the memory
• The Meek shall inherit the earth.. …after we’re through with it. Read the rest of this entry »

Since 1977, LucasFilm has commissioned original art for its company Christmas cards. Many of them, like the 1981 card shown, feature Star Wars characters. This year’s card has a company of pop-up Stormtroopers. See that and more at Slashfilm (warning: contains Ewoks). Link -via Dump Trumpet

A man in Chicago calls his son in New York the day before Christmas and says, “I hate to ruin Christmas this year, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”"Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Atlanta and tell her.”Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”

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Tux Paint is a free, award-winning drawing program for children ages 3 to 12 (for example, preschool and K-6 in the US, key stages 1 & 2 in the UK). It combines an easy-to-use interface, fun sound effects, and an encouraging cartoon mascot who guides children as they use the program.

Kids are presented with a blank canvas and a variety of drawing tools to help them be creative. (See the full list of features.) Tux Paint